Heat
by three.hills
Summary: Bella is going to spend the day in La Push...this will become very lemontastic. Pairings: Bella/Edward and Bella/Jacob. Warning: Not for Jacob Haters or for people who think Edward can do no wrong. Not as fluffy as my usual stories.
1. Part One

**A/N: I am not Stephenie Meyer. The characters do not belong to me…I just make them do naughty things sometimes. **_**Caution: If you are anti-Jacob or think that Edward can do no wrong, then this is not the story for you.**_

Part One

Edward's face was tight, and his emotions were tightly closed to me as we drove toward the Quileute territory. I sighed to get his attention, but his eyes remained fixed on the road. After his failed attempts at preventing me from seeing Jacob, he had reluctantly agreed to _allow_ it, provided I carry a cell phone with me at all times, in case of emergency. I knew that he would be ready to charge in at a moment's notice, even if it meant breaking the treaty that his family had so carefully drawn with the wolves. I did not plan on using the cell phone. Edward glanced over at me before pulling to the side of the road and turning the car off.

"We're still about three miles away; do you want me to walk?" I looked at Edward's face, expecting for him to be upset, but he wasn't. He leaned in with his eyes dark and watching me. My heart started racing as his body got closer to mine, his arm reaching across my lap and twisting a lever that laid the seat back. I gasped out at that and strained to sit up, but was pushed back down by Edward's strong hands as he climbed over me. My breathing all but stopped as his clothed knee pushed between my legs and moved up. His hands trailed under my shirt, caressing my skin gently and leaving me shivering. I grabbed at him and pulled him closer, trying to place a kiss on his lips. He read my intentions and leaned into me, kissing me deeply as I tried to sneakily pull his shirt off. Edward pulled back, and to my amazement helped me and pulled his shirt off, before leaning in for another kiss, his tongue deeply probing my mouth. I couldn't believe that he was finally going to do this. I was barely breathing as he slipped a hand in between my skin and the fabric of my jeans, unbuttoning them and drawing down the zipper.

Edward's voice was strained as he spoke the words, "You want this, Bella." It was a statement. I looked at him, trying to read the odd expression on his face. He seemed happy but 

distracted, almost like he was paying attention to something else. "You want this," he said again, brushing his hand behind me to lift me up to his hips. I had never wanted so badly to be able to rip clothing off with vampire strength that I didn't have yet. I gasped as he continued, his low velvet voice close to my ear, sensuously wrapping around me and leaving me dizzy. "You want this, and you want it with me."

"God, yes Edward, I want you so bad I am about to combust." I reached for him again, but he was looking out the window of the Volvo. He turned briefly to me and smiled.

"I thought you might say that." He looked back out the window, distractedly. "Had enough then?" He reached for his shirt, pulling it up off of the floor of the car and moving away from me.

"What? No, no I haven't had enough…Edward!" Confusion and shock flooded me. He looked at me briefly, and then out the window again, smirking for a split second before putting on his shirt. I looked out the window and saw Jacob stalking toward the car.

I felt the pain in an almost physical blow as I saw Jacob's face hardened and hurt. I looked down at the position I was in and quickly zipped and buttoned my pants, fumbling in my haste as my cheeks burned and tears threatened to spill out. Edward got out of his side of the car and moved around in a faster-than-human move to open my door, his eyes still on Jacob. I hissed at him lowly, "How long did you know he was there?" He turned to me, and got concerned at the look on my face. "How long Edward?"

"I pulled over when I heard his thoughts." My heart was racing again, but I couldn't find one single emotion to pin it to. Anger. Shame. Embarrassment. Sadness. There were too many.

"Edward Cullen," I started, my own voice low to the point of shaking, "you…I thought we were going to—" He cut me off as the look on his face became incredulous.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella. I was just trying to show the dog what belongs to me." He looked at Jacob loathingly as I felt the first tears actually break free and start to run down my face.

"Of course," I said, sarcastically, "how ridiculous of me to want to be with the man I love. How stupid." I could not believe that he had done that, all of it, specifically to prove a point to Jacob. "You must think I'm ridiculous a lot, then." I said, sniffing slightly, as the tears continued to roll down my face. Edward grasped my shoulders and walked me backwards to the car, pressing me against it as he grabbed my chin and tilted my face to meet his.

"I am so sorry, Bella. I've hurt your feelings again, and I apologize." He sighed and I tried to look away, and briefly caught a glimpse of Jacob's concerned face before Edward used the hand on my chin to direct my gaze back to him. "I do not think that you are stupid, nor do I find your desires ridiculous, it is absolutely unbearable for me to see you like this; this reaction was not my intention." I felt anger replace some of my sadness and embarrassment and latched onto it like a lifeline.

"_Your_ intentions, it is unbearable for _you_, it is so damn hard for _you_, Edward, but you didn't even stop to consider me in this, did you?" I took a deep breath and continued, "No, no, you didn't consider me at all, you were barely looking at me at all because you were so concerned about making your damn point that I…my feelings, you pushed them aside so that you could make Jacob see, once again, how much I desire you. I cannot believe that you lead me on like that, manipulated me, so that you could show my best friend how much I want 

you!" I shoved away from Edward and the Volvo and stomped over to Jacob, standing next to him. "Message delivered, Edward. I guess you won't be needing me for anything else, then?" I questioned, glaring at him-through eyes I knew were still watering. Shock was etched onto his perfect features.

"Bella, I am truly sorry, please…maybe it isn't such a good day for you to—"

"No!" I shouted, surprising the three of us. "No, Edward, I know what you're going to say…and don't bother. I am going to spend the day at La Push; I will call you when I am ready to be picked up from the border." I sighed, my anger deflating, and started walking toward La Push. Jacob turned silently and fell into a stroll next to me.

"You're three miles from his car at the border; let me drive you over there." Edward's voice sounded strained as he followed closely behind us. I stopped walking and turned around to face him.

"You know, believe it or not, I am capable of walking a few miles without anything catastrophic happening." I said, and turned to walk again. "I will call you later." Jacob walked beside me silently for a few minutes until I glanced back.

"He left." Jacob looked at me cautiously, searching my expression. I sighed again and continued walking.

**A/N: Reviews are love, and yes, I will be continuing this one…though I don't know how far it will go…I do have another two parts planned at the very least. Let me know what you think. I take reviews pretty seriously.**


	2. Part Two

**A/N: I am still not Stephenie Meyer. Sorry.**

Part Two

I walked slowly next to Jacob, waiting for him to speak, to tell me how he felt about what had just happened. Glancing over at him, I tried to read his features, his eyebrows were somewhat drawn together, as if he was angry or upset, but every few seconds his lips would twitch slightly, as if he was barely containing a smile. Attempting to decipher his feelings was a welcome relief from examining my own mixed up mess of emotions, I knew for a fact that my cheeks were still warm from embarrassment and anger, and I felt guilty for how I had acted toward Edward, but some part of me within was urging me not to feel bad about it all, telling me that I was right to be mad. I felt frustrated tears spring to my eyes again and I stopped walking, mostly to avoid a collision with the trees dancing in my vision. My head was swimming in a tumult of emotions, and I felt an ache in my chest from all of the conflicts. 

Jacob's face was suddenly a few inches from mine, concern plainly showing in his expression. He brushed a strand of hair away from my face and gently tucked it behind my ear.

"Bells, you okay?" His warm hand lingered on my cheek, his thumb brushing a tear away. I felt a fresh wave of guilt roll over me for being so selfish.

"I'm sorry, Jake." I took a shaky breath and tried to gather myself. "I don't want to ruin our day. I don't want you to have to mop up my tears all day, or feel like you have to deal with me being gloomy and distressed." His face became tense and his eyes darkened.

"I've seen you a lot worse than this, Bella," his expression changed, lightening as he continued, "and I would be neglecting my solemn duties as best friend if I let you spend the day 

being upset when I have the power to cheer you up." He broke into a grin at this, and I felt my lips twitch in response, a smile threatening to break across my expression. He noticed and his grin widened; he leaned forward suddenly and licked the tears from my cheek. "Yum, you're salty." He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively as I wiped my face and pretended to be grossed out. "I know you like hearing how good you'd taste." He laughed easily and took my hand, and I couldn't help but laugh along with him, following him through the woods.

"How do you do that, Jake?" I wondered aloud, my mood considerably brighter.

"It's all in the technique. You have to use just enough tongue." He looked as innocent as he could when I groaned and smacked his shoulder. I stuck my tongue out at him when he laughed. "Yes, exactly like that Bella." His eyes scanned the trees around us and he turned to me suddenly. "Are you sure you don't want a lift to the car?" He asked. "I could carry you."

I felt my eyes narrow. "I am perfectly capable of walking, even if it seems so very slow to you…stupid, speedy, impatient, mythological creatures." He fought back another grin.

"I've heard. I just meant that we might want to get there before it starts raining." He gestured up at the clouds.

"Oh. How do you know it's going to start raining?" I asked. His eyebrow raised.

"Well, I may not be a psychic le…vampire, but I can still feel the change in pressure before a storm. You can't feel that? The way the air gets heavy and presses down on you?" He asked, seemingly genuine.

"Nope, it feels the same to me." I looked at him curiously. "How soon will it hit?"

"I don't know exactly, maybe a few minutes." He smiled at me again. "Even though I am well aware, and very respectful of your walking capabilities, I will say that you cannot get to the car before the rain starts."

"Oh, well okay." I had barely finished agreeing when I was swept up into a burning embrace and the trees began to blur. I closed my eyes and pressed my face into Jacob's chest, keeping my arms wrapped tightly around him. I felt incredibly safe and relaxed in his arms, inhaling his scent. He smelled like the forest itself, and the ocean, he smelled like bonfires and earth and heat. Just as I was wondering how he would taste I heard a sound. It repeated a few times before I translated it.

"Bella?" I opened my eyes and looked up at Jacob. "You okay? Was it really that bad…I thought maybe you had passed out." His face was incredibly apprehensive as he searched my expression. I faltered slightly.

"I, no…I'm fine, I was just distracted." I said, feeling blood pool in my cheeks again. He raised an eyebrow.

"What were you distracted by?" His face was serious as he asked, but I had no idea how to explain.

"I…just…" I trailed off, looking around at our surroundings. "jeez, Jake, we're already at the car?" His expression turned proud as he smiled again.

"I told you we'd beat the rain," he said, and placed me on the ground. I grinned at him and walked to the car, opening the passenger side door and sitting down with my legs dangling down outside of the vehicle. I noticed Jacob watching me.

"What?" I asked, looking up at him as he walked over. His expression had become unreadable again as he knelt in front of me.

"So do you want me to ignore the fact that you changed the subject by complimenting me on how fast I am?" His eyes held mine and my heart sped up as I blushed again. I had thought it was subtle.

"Yes please," I squeaked out, thoroughly embarrassed. His eyes softened and he leaned forward, briefly pressing his lips to mine.

"Okay," he laughed, "now let's get going." He lifted my legs into the car and shut the door. I watched him walk around to the driver's side. He had kissed me. It wasn't the first time, of course, but I was still shaken. I tried not to over think it, to wonder at his possible motivations or plans. I shoved all of those thoughts away violently. I would not do this; I would not overanalyze and pick at things until they unraveled.

The ride into La Push was quiet but comfortable. I listened to the rain at we drove down the slick streets. When we pulled up to Jacob's house and the engine stopped I looked at him, smiling. "Don't suppose you can run fast in between the raindrops," I said. He laughed.

"Nope, but I have another idea, stay here for a minute." He threw the door open and dashed out, letting it slam behind him as he ran to the house through the sheets of water. A moment later he ran back out of the house, opening an umbrella and walking up to the car. He opened my door and held out his hand I reached for him and let him pull me up out of the car. He wrapped an arm around me and walked me to the door, shielding me from the storm. I could feel the heat radiating from his body as we walked into the house, and I shivered slightly when he turned away from me and put the umbrella away. I sank down onto the couch feeling suddenly drained. Jacob sat down beside me and wrapped his arms around me. He placed his chin on my shoulder and spoke into my ear.

"It's really okay for you to be upset, or tired, or frustrated. Please don't try to put it all away for my benefit." I felt tears pool in my eyes.

"I have no good reason for feeling like this, Jake. I'm a selfish person, and the last thing I should be doing is crying my eyes out to you about my boyfriend, when all you want to do is spend time with me." He laughed slightly and wiped a few of my stray tears.

"As I said earlier, I've held your hand through worse, Bella. You said yourself I want to spend time with you, and that's true. I love being around you, and not only when you're bright and cheery either. I'll always be here for you, in good times and bad, and you have every right to be upset today. Edward was being a complete ass, trying to prove something to me that I already know." He shook his head in disgust. "I could never do that to you, Bella, and I do not think it the least bit ridiculous that you want to be with the one you love." His expression turned pained as I winced at his words.

"What were you thinking?" I asked. "What were you thinking when we were driving up, and why were you so far from your car?" My voice was accusatory as I remembered the events leading up to my argument with Edward. Jacob blushed and ducked his head. Now I had to know. I grabbed his face and pulled it close to mine, raising my eyebrows and waiting for a response. His expression was guilty.

"I get really excited when you come here to hang out, so I like to run alongside the car when you drive up. Today I was just thinking about how much I love you, how great it feels to spend time with you, and how much I would love for you to be with me." He sighed and his eyebrows pulled together. "I know you love him, Bella, and I know that you cannot live without him, so I don't expect anything…" his voice broke, but he tried to conceal it. "I just get caught up in impossible daydreams sometimes." I felt a pain tightening my chest as a few tears spilled out and rolled down my face.

"This is an impossible situation." I said, "I don't want you to be hurting Jacob." I let out a shaky sob as he pulled me onto his lap and cradled me. Once the tears started they refused to stop, and I shook silently and waited for them to pass. I would be leaving him behind at the end of the summer, and I probably would never see him again. The pain from that thought racked my body again and my tears flowed harder. Jacob tightened his embrace started humming lightly. I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave him behind forever, just as I couldn't live without Edward. I wrapped my arms around him trying to pull him closer. His face nuzzled my neck and he kissed my collarbone gently. I was surrounded by heat, inside and out. Jacob pulled away from me and looked into my face.

"You love me." He stated wonderingly. "I mean, I know you love me, but what I mean is…you know too, don't you?" I nodded slowly. "Then that's enough for me." He smiled, even though his eyes were watering too.

"No, it's not." I stated. "Not nearly enough, not even close to fair." I twisted around so that my chest was pressed against his and I kissed him as deeply as I could. I felt one of his hands reach up and wrap itself in my hair as he pressed me closer. His other hand worked up under my shirt, leaving my skin burning. I gasped as I broke our kiss. His mouth immediately pressed into the skin of my neck and I felt his tongue tasting me and teasing me. He pressed my back down onto the cushions and climbed over me. I was getting dizzy from the heat as he removed my shirt, pulling it up over my head and cupping my breasts, rubbing my nipples beneath the fabric. I moaned and writhed under him. Jacob looked at me as he leaned into another kiss, then he broke away and braced himself with hands on either side of my body. His expression was torn and I tried to clear my head.

"What's wrong?" I gasped, propping myself on my elbows.

"I am killing myself over this," he began slowly, "and please, please, please, please—"

"Jake!" I interrupted.

"Please, please, please do not take this the wrong way." He said. My stomach clenched and I felt my cheeks warm again. "I can barely keep from ripping your clothing off right now and finding a way inside of you this second, it is absolutely tearing my mind apart, as willing as you are right now, but—I don't think that this is a good idea." I felt tears in my eyes again and tried to fight them back. "No, no, no Bells. Please don't, I just—I want so badly to be with you, it's killing me, but I want it to be right; not because you feel bad about hurting me, or feel upset with Edward. I know that you love him, and you would regret this later, and I don't want to be a regret." His voice broke and he let his head drop to my shoulder. "I'm sorry; I said that I wouldn't hurt you. I'm so sorry." I tried to calm my breathing from the panic that was creeping 

up on me. What was I thinking? I thought of what this would do to Edward, pictured his devastated expression, and was horrified. I reached up and placed my hand on Jacob's shoulder as my other hand found his face and guided it to mine.

"I'm so sorry Jake," I started. "I don't know what to do." I pressed his head down onto my shoulder and stroked his hair gently. My mind was racing to find a solution, but nothing seemed possible. I was completely lost. I couldn't lose Jacob, but I couldn't live without Edward. I felt an overwhelming grief threatening to break me apart. I let out a quiet sob and felt Jacob tighten his hold on me, so safe, so secure. My mind began to slow as the pain lessened. Sleep, sleep would be good. I closed my eyes and let myself drift into the darkness.

**A/N: As always, review and let me know what you think. I always take reviews into consideration when writing. **


	3. Part Three

**A/N: Disclaimer…as always, I am not Stephenie Meyer, and the characters of Twilight do not belong to me (but on occasion I have very dirty daydreams where I imagine that they do).**

The storm outside raged, and I stood in the midst of the trees, soaked through and shivering, alone. I wasn't neglected for long. Shapes formed from the sheets of rain in the darkness, they gained mass and became recognizable. One sleek, pale form racing toward me from one direction, and another shape, larger and darker raced from the opposite direction. My heart was in my throat, fear choking me as they blurred to where I was standing with an incredible speed. I knew that in brief seconds they would both collide, with me in the center, there would be a deafening crash. I looked, panicked, from one to the other as the chills in my body turned to burning fear and the tremors grew violent. I screamed and swung my fist blindly.

"Bella! Bella, stop…you're fine, Bella, it's okay!" Jacob's voice was panicky and I opened my eyes slowly. His face was centimeters from mine, his eyes searching my expression. I tried to move my hands to his face, but couldn't. I got confused.

"Where are my hands?" I asked sleepily. Jacob's eyebrows raised and he looked up. I strained my neck to follow his gaze. One of his large hands was wrapped around my wrists, pinning them to the arm of the couch. "Oh." I said. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

"I didn't want you to get hurt again," he said quickly. I blinked slowly. "Last time you punched me you broke your hand…and I have been warned about bringing you back in less than perfect condition." Oh. So I had…oh.

"Sorry, Jake. I didn't mean—I mean…" I sighed, and then tried to lighten the mood. "If you let me go, I promise it won't happen again. I will not try to hurt my knuckles on your face." I looked as solemn as I could, and Jake grinned and laughed.

"I don't know, Bells…I kind of like you like this," he gestured to my trapped wrists before continuing, "all defenseless…helpless. This is what happens when little girls go walking in the woods all alone." He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively and growled. I laughed.

"Oh, my…what big teeth you have," I said slowly. Jacob's eyes widened suddenly, and he blushed. I was confused again. "What?" I asked. "What's wrong with my line?" He shook his head.

"Bella," he started slowly…inviting me to catch up, "what is the line after that? You know…the wolf's response?" He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I thought quickly.

"Um…then the wolf says: The better to eat you—oh!" I almost choked as I realized the implication. "Let my arms go." He did and I said "Hold still." When I was sure he was not going to move I reached up and lightly smacked the side of his head. "Thanks, a lot, Jacob! I will never be able to hear that story the same way again! It's tainted now!" He laughed deeply at my indignation, shaking the couch. I tried to keep the outraged look on my face as I reached out and shoved him as hard as I could, knocking him down, onto the floor. Then I broke into the laughter myself, and sat up slowly. Jake propped himself up and sat in front of me, with his head resting on my knees. I stroked the side of his face slowly, and brushed his hair back from his eyes. We stayed like that for several minutes, until he turned his head to look me in the eyes.

"What was the dream about, Bells?" I tried to remember the details.

"Did I say something?" I asked.

"You said Edward's name, and mine…but not, not like in a happy way. You seemed afraid." His voice was thick with emotion, his eyes tight with concern. I sighed and tried to explain.

"I am not afraid of you Jacob, or Edward for that matter. I am just scared of…being pulled apart by the conflict between the three of us. I am terrified that I won't be able to find the solution to get us all out of this in one piece." I could feel my eyes watering, and quickly tilted my head back, so that the tears wouldn't fall. Jacob's voice was uncertain as he spoke.

"But we aren't all one piece, Bella. We are three separate pieces, two of which seem to be incapable of coexistence," he finished, shaking his head slowly. I wanted to wipe the concern from his face, the anxiety, the sadness in his eyes. As he looked up at me, reached his hand slowly to my cheek, and brushed his thumb across my creased forehead I knew that he was probably feeling the same way. I smiled slowly.

"Let's go play on the beach," I said, and jumped up. Jacob smiled.

"It's still raining, Bells." He shook his head. "It'll be cold."

"Is it just rain…no lightning?" I asked. He looked out of the window, and listened. He shook his head again.

"Nope, it is _only_ a torrential downpour. No chance of Bella getting zapped." He grinned.

"What makes you think that I'd be the one who got zapped?" I demanded, placing my hands on my hips. "**You** are like ten feet tall! You'd get zapped first."

"Nope," he said lightly. "**I** am not the danger magnet. You would totally get zapped first, besides," he stood up and stretched to his full length, flexing his muscles, "I am faster than the lightning." I narrowed my eyes…was he? He laughed and pulled me to the front door. "Slow 

way, or fast way?" He asked. I held my arms up to him, and he scooped me up and ran into the rain.

After what seemed like hours of walking back and forth along the shore, a brief splashing in puddles contest, and a failed sand castle building scheme the rain stopped, and we sat down to rest on our tree. Jacob pulled me up onto his lap to chase the chills away, and we watched the clouds speed quickly through the darkening sky. The sun was nearly completely set before I thought of Edward, and what must be going through his head. I felt a sharp pain and winced against it, even though it wasn't physical.

"I have to talk to him." I felt Jacob's hands freeze in their movement, caressing my arms, and he spoke slowly.

"I know. I'll drive you to the border when you're ready." He sighed out, and then continued moving his hands up and down my arms, chasing away the cold. "Do you want me to be there?" He asked, trying to make his voice casual.

"I don't think that's a good idea." I said slowly. I turned to look at Jacob, and saw his crestfallen expression. He saw the reaction I had and quickly tried to wipe the look from his face, turning it to one of concern.

"Whatever you think is best, Bells." He said, but his voice was choked with emotion again. He brushed the strands of hair away from my face where they were plastered, and tried for a smile. I tried to explain.

"No, Jacob, I just…we have talked about a lot today, and I am still working through it all. If you're there then—" He held a hand up, and smiled genuinely.

"You don't want him to see everything filtered through my thoughts, you want a chance to explain things yourself." He grinned. "I thought it was something serious for a minute, but I understand." I smiled in response.

"Thanks, Jake." I wondered briefly about how we'd be able to meet him at the border, knowing he'd be anxious to see what had happened, and ready to absorb everything he could. I asked Jacob quietly, "How will you keep your thoughts clear while he's picking me up?" He grinned.

"You get used to controlling which thoughts you want shared when you have a pack mentality. I'll just picture some of the more boring things we've done, remember those, and things we've done in the past. As long as he doesn't pointedly ask about specifics, then I can guide my thoughts where I want them to be."

I smiled back at him, and we walked to the house the "slow" way. I retrieved my phone and made the call. Edward's voice over the phone sounded strained. I hadn't even heard it ring before he started talking quickly.

"Bella, I am unbelievably sorry, please understand that I—"

I cut him off. "Hey, um, can you pick me up? We'll talk then." I waited for a brief second.

"I'll be there in a few minutes. I love you, Bella."

I felt my eyes water. "I love you, too." I whispered the words and then hung up quickly, snapping the phone shut and shoving it in my pocket. I put my hands to my face. Jacob quickly wrapped his arms around me, humming gently in my ear. I took several deep breaths and pulled back, smiling. "The quick way?" I asked. He smiled too and swept me up again, setting off at a run. I closed my eyes and waited again for the movement to stop, curling into Jacob's arms as he ran, pressing my lips softly to the burning flesh around me.

"Bella? We've stopped." Jacob's voice woke my attention, and he stood me on my feet carefully. His eyebrows were drawn together tightly. I felt a wave of gratitude fill me, and a strong desire build to wipe the look of concern off of his face. I reached up and pulled his face to mine, pressing his hot lips firmly to my own. He groaned, and I smiled. I parted my lips slightly, and traced his lower lip with my tongue, then suddenly felt him pull me even closer and realized that I was bending over to kiss him, as though I was taller. I opened my eyes to see him on his knees in front of me, his long arms wrapped around my lower back. I gently bit his lip and pulled back. He tightened his grip around me briefly, before standing up and stepping several feet back. I looked at him curiously. He smiled sadly.

"Edward's car is about thirty seconds away from us being visible, and me being in range." He tapped the side of his head. "I need to clear my thoughts."

"Oh, right." I could feel myself blush, and watched as he closed his eyes and concentrated. "Don't strain yourself," I said solemnly. "I bet your head isn't used to working that hard." Jacob's eyes flew open as he laughed loudly, and I couldn't help but join in. He hugged me once more, up in his arms spinning around, before setting me down and turning to watch the road. I slipped my hand into his and turned as well, watching for the silver Volvo.

I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say, but I was starting to have a better idea about what I needed. That had to be a start.

**A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews and alerts. Let me know what you think about this story, if you like it, hate it, love it, or just want to see more.**


	4. Part Four

**A/N: Sorry, I know you were expecting Stephenie Meyer, but I am not her.**

Jacob was humming quietly as Edward's car pulled up. I glanced up at his face. His eyes were closed; lashes gently brushing his high cheekbones, his full lips were parted slightly and pulling at the corners, a slow smile on his face. I wondered what memories he was sifting through as Edward got out of the car and quickly approached. Jacob's eyes flew open and found me, the smile broadening on his face.

Edward's expression was pained as he came to a stop next to us, his eyes flitting down to our hands, and then to Jacob's expression. I gave Jacob's hand a squeeze, and then releasing him I walked to Edward. He looked as though he was going to speak, so I raised my hand to cut him off. His expression was bleak, and I wanted to reassure him. The response was automatic, as reflexive as flinching away from my own pain. I brushed my fingers briefly through his bronze hair, and trailed my fingertips down the alabaster contours of his face. Seeing him as pained as he was, was a physical blow for me, and my throat began to ache from holding onto tears—suppressing them.

"Wait." I said slowly, keeping my voice low to prevent it from shaking. "We'll talk when we get to the house." His eyes were tight with emotion as he turned and walked me to the car, moving more quickly than I could track to open the door for me. I turned and gave Jacob a small smile, then bit my lip and sat in the car, pulling the seatbelt across my frame. Edward closed the door and walked around to the driver's side. His careful expression looked briefly to 

Jacob, his topaz eyes scanning Jacob's expression. I looked at Jacob as well, not sure what to expect. Jacob's face was serious as he looked at Edward, his casual smile was gone, and in its place was a mixture of emotions. It looked to me as though he was giving a warning, though there was something else as well, something I couldn't read. It had the feel of sorrow, though that wasn't the exact emotion. His lips moved quickly and I was surprised at Edward's slow nod. His own lips moved and Jacob's expression seemed lightened. He nodded sharply and then turned his face to mine, breaking into a smile and waving. I felt my own smile automatically form and waved back as he turned and blurred with speed, running into the woods. Edward pulled his door open, sat down behind the steering wheel, and started the car. I didn't bother speaking, or asking him what the nearly silent conversation was that he had held with Jacob. I simply let the silence wrap around me and relax me.

The drive to the Cullen's home was short, and before my ears even registered Edward's door closing, mine was being drawn open. I held my hand out in the darkness, and he found it immediately, his cool fingers wrapping around mine. We walked to the darkened house, and then through it and up to his room without a word being spoken. He turned the light on and then looked to me, his face tight once more with emotion. I walked slowly to the giant bed and sat down.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, wondering where the rest of the family had disappeared to, and why they had left. Edward pulled a chair from his desk and sat in it, across from me.

"I spoke with Carlisle, and asked if I might have some privacy," he started, staring intently at his hands, "he decided to take the rest of them hunting, so they're gone for the night." He raised his eyes to me. "Bella, I cannot even begin to tell you how incredibly sorry I am for what happened." He stood and began to pace, but then thought better of it and sat in a crouch in front of me, one hand on the bed next to my thigh, and the other brushing the hair from my face. "I allowed the feelings of jealousy and possession to dictate my actions, and it was absolutely inexcusable. I understand completely why you have made the decision you have, and I want you to know that the only person I am mad at is myself." His velvet voice was low as he dragged out the words, and it broke at the end. His face was a mask of anguish that wrenched inside of me, and I realized that tears were streaming from my eyes.

"Edward, I'm not leaving you," I choked out, and then attempted to catch my breath and slow my heart rate. He looked up at me suddenly, wonderingly, his eyes wide. He blinked slowly. "Edward, I love you, I want to be with you…the only 'deciding' that I did today was to realize that I couldn't live without Jacob." His face turned to confusion.

"Bella, I don't understand. You aren't leaving me, but you've realized that you cannot live without Jacob?" His voice was dark and his eyebrows were drawn together. He shook his head. "I don't want you to stay with me out of obligation, or because you don't want me hurt."

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Would you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Hold still." _Smack!_ "Ow, damn." I shook my hand, and pressed my fingers to my lips. "That didn't hurt as much when I did it to Jacob." Edward was looking at me in shock. "I'm sorry." I said quickly, and then tried to explain. "What part of: 'Edward, I love you, I want to be with you' do you not understand?" I tried to look at him as sternly as I could. "I am not staying with you out of obligation, or because I don't want to hurt you."

Edward reached up and pulled my stinging fingers to his lips. The cool feel soothed them instantly. "You really should stop trying to 'beat up' on hardheaded mythological creatures. We're pretty sturdy." He cracked a smile. The look was relief and happiness, which then turned into confusion again. "Why did you smack Jacob?"

I thought for a moment and then shook my head, laughing. "He ruined a childhood fairytale for me." I smiled at the memory.

Edward smiled too, and then it slowly faded. "Bella, I don't want you torn apart at the seams by this. It's a concern that Jacob and I share." I felt my face crumple, and fought back tears again. Edward quickly sat next to me and held me. "Bella, I'm so sorry. Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry; I just don't know what to do." I took a few shaky breaths as Edward started to rock back and forth slowly. I took a deep breath. "I'll think of something, though." I stated finally. "I have to."

"Well, I don't have any idea how to help you through this." He seemed to be thinking very carefully. "However, maybe what you need is a distraction." I looked at him.

"What kind of distraction?" I asked slowly.

"Well, in the event that you decided to forgive me of my earlier trespasses, I came to the conclusion that I should find a way to make it up to you."

"What did you—oh." I said, as his hand slid beneath the hem of my shirt. I shivered and he laughed.

"Bella," he started, and then leaned in for a kiss, and with his lips sealed to mine he continued, "I want to chase away any errant thoughts you might have, about how I feel concerning your desires." He moved his lips to my neck, and then to my collarbone. I shuddered and gripped his shirt tightly. I gasped loudly as he laid me down across the bed and crawled over me. He had removed his shirt, and pressed his chest against me. Some part of me was joyous at this turn of events, but another was deeply upset. My mind was absolutely spinning with the sensation of being this close to him, breathing in his beautiful scent, his liquid topaz eyes centimeters from my own. I needed to think, but it was impossible.

"Edward!" The name that fell from my lips was more of a gasp and moan as his right hand reached up underneath my shirt to cup my breast. He sealed his lips to mine, drowning out what I was going to say, making me forget nearly completely why I was going to say it. My skin was alive with heat, and I arched into him, pressing against him as my hands wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer. He pulled away slightly and pulled off my shirt, then cupped my breasts and let his thumbs trace over the nipples. _Shit. Jacob!_ I was abruptly reminded of Jacob's earlier, similar action, and froze. I noticed suddenly that Edward wasn't moving, either.

"Bella…what did you just say?" His low voice was a whisper. I looked up into his eyes, they were nearly black. _Oh, fuck…no, not out loud._ My heart rate spiraled out of control.

"Edward, I just…it would hurt him if I did this with you, I can't do it." I held my breath waiting for a response. Edward's eyes remained black as they narrowed slightly. He pulled away from me carefully and closed his eyes. I grabbed my shirt and pulled it on. "Edward, I want this, you know that I do—but as much as I—" The room was silent. He wasn't there. "Edward?" I asked aloud. No response. I felt pained and started to panic. Of course he walked out, who wouldn't walk out on someone who said another man's name during an intimate moment? I walked quickly down the stairs, and saw that the front door was open. I crossed the dark room, and noticed Edward outside of the door. He didn't turn around as he spoke.

"Bella…do you have your shirt back on?" I looked down and nodded…then realized he couldn't see it.

"Yes." My voice wavered on the one word, and I saw Edward's head turn sharply. He was at my side in an instant, cupping my face in his hands.

"Bella, I am so sorry, again I have to apologize for hurting you." He sighed and then pressed his lips to my forehead. "If you could understand what was going through my head at that moment…what the instinctual predator in me wanted to do at that moment, you would understand better why I had to leave the room as quickly as possible." I opened my mouth to ask, but was cut off by his hand pressing into my lips. "You do not want to know." His voice was low and sent a chill through me that had nothing to do with his temperature. I nodded mutely. His hand dropped from my lips and traced down my throat, before resting on my shoulder. "I understand that you don't want to hurt him, Bella. I respect that completely. I am not upset over it." He smiled too innocently. "Jacob and I both aren't getting any older, so take _your_ time."

I gasped and tried to shove him. "Maybe I will, then." I laughed. He stopped my attempt to push him and pulled me into an embrace.

"Bella, I love you. I know that Jacob feels the same, and that you love us both. This is the furthest thing from easy for you, so I am not going to make your life any harder by trying to come up with ultimatums, or demands." I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. "I am going to call Jacob. Maybe if we are all together, then we can work something out."

I looked up at him slowly. "But, you're going to get along with him, right?" I tried to look stern. "Whenever the two of you see each other you end up—" I felt cool fingers press against my lips again.

"That was before I realized that you truly loved him, Bella. Knowing that now, and understanding that hurting him will hurt you, I couldn't possibly do that." He smiled and walked to the phone.

_So soon. I'm not ready to do this._ The thought was whole in my mind. If we really were going to sit down, and have this talk…I might lose one of them, tonight, forever. My heart started racing, and I took a few deep breaths. Instantly I felt cool hands brush my shoulder and begin to relax the muscles that had tensed up.

"You don't have to make a decision tonight, but I just thought it would benefit us all to have at least some conversation." Edward's voice was calming in my ear, and I relaxed. Jacob would be here soon, and we would talk…and I had absolutely no idea what to say.

**A/N: So…we know Bella doesn't want to know what Edward was thinking when he had to leave the room abruptly…but if you do, then ask me in a review or PM and I will send you a short, graphic, dark Edward POV of that moment. Be sure that if you leave an unsigned review that you leave your email, and I will get the Edward POV to you. **


End file.
